Back in my arms
by ReineMarieAntoinette
Summary: What happened between Cora's recovery from the Spanish flu and the S2 Christmas Special? How did Robert come back to his right place after his dalliance with Jane? A one-shot about the Earl and Countess of Grantham finding their way back to each other.


Back in my arms.

Cora was feeling better. Doctor Clarkson has come yesterday in the evening, clearing her to resume her normal activities. The fever has completely gone and she was growing her appetite back as well. She was glad she could stay out of bed now. It has been already a week since she started dressing in some confortable day clothes to spend her time in her chaise longue, reading or working on her embroidery. Yesterday afternoon she even dared going to the library for tea, enjoying the company of her children and feeling blessed to see their glee and their welcoming smiles at the sight of her.

Cora felt definitely better, happy even. In the bottom of her heart, though, she knew that something was amiss. Something very important. The most important thing to her. Robert.

She shouldn't been complaining really. He has been over attentive lately. Every morning he checked on her, never forgetting to kiss her good morning or to make sure she was provided at anytime with everything she needed. He started the routine to read to her every afternoon in her room and to bring her a flower after every walk he took in the garden.

Somehow though his caring attention worried and saddened her. He wasn't at all the same Robert that he used to be. He was always nice and worried about her, but he treated her like a weak child in need of care, not as the woman he loved and desired.

He had stopped sleeping with her since the Spanish flu and even now that she was recovered he didn't come back to her. On his bedside table there weren't anymore the books and the handkerchiefs he used to keep there, but all the bottles and vials of her medicines and his untouched side of the bed was now covered in extra blanket and clothes to soothe her in the freezing nights.

Today though, everything was different. She has specifically asked Mrs Hughes to clear the bedroom from any sign of illness, to put on the red bed clothing and to bring up the silver vase full of fresh roses.

She took a relaxing bath soaked in almond oil and lavender essence, applied a rose scented body cream all over her and put some drops of parfume on the nape of fer neck, between her breasts and on both her wrists.

That was enough to make her feel whole again.

When she sat at her vanity to get ready for dinner her look was better than it had been in weeks. Her washed hair looked shiny and full, cascading on her shoulders in long waves, the same that she used to have before the flu, far from sponge baths, tight plaits and days tucked in bed.

The hot bath has resumed the peach shade on her cheeks and even her eyes looked bluer than ever.

Robert. who was out on the estate, wouldn't expect his wife to be down for dinner tonight and Cora wanted to make the best of it, surprising her husband and eliciting a reaction in him.

After O'Brien helped the Countess with her hair and make up, she left some items of clothing on Cora's bed ,as her lady asked, so that she could take her time to choose what to wear.

She subsided the white and heavy cotton undergarments she had worn for nearly a month during her recovery in favor of a burgundy corset matching with a pair of silk stockings and a light slip. The gown she chose was maroon, with flowers embroidered in a shiny golden thread and lots of glittery pearls sewed all over the skirt. Everything felt so much better now, Cora thought, enjoying the sound of her dress swaying back and forth with every step she took.

When he was back from his errands, Robert went straight to Cora.

He used to find her in her room or in her private sitting room resting or reading. He knew he has been overprotective lately, but he couldn't help but worrying, considering how ill she had been and how he had overlooked the whole situation. He trusted to God that he wouldn't have let her be in danger again and his sense of guilt for his misconduct during the nights in which she was fighting between life and death was enough to make him feel undeserving of Cora's everlasting love.

He was aware that he was keeping her at arm's length. How different could it be? How could he sleep with her in his arms after all he did to her? The mere thought of Jane was a stab in his heart. How could he go along that path? The fact was that Cora was so much better than him and the war just underlined the truth of it quite harshly, making him react as a fool.

With these thoughts and avoiding the main entrance of the Abbey, he climbed up the stairs, approaching gingerly his wife's room. She, though,was nowhere to be seen. He worried at first, but was suddenly distracted by his surroundings. The room was tidy and the bed has been changed; on her vanity the ceramic and silver bottles of balsamic oils and medicines were replaced by a massive vase of red and white roses, the curtains were open and the air smelled faintly of Cora's french perfume.

Robert closed quickly the door behind him, turning around and spotting Bates just about to enter his dressing room.

"Bates!" he exclaimed, out of surprise. "Have you seen my wife, by chance?"

"Good afternoon Milord" answered the valet, with the hint of a smile. "Her Ladyship is in the drawing room, with the young ladies and the Dowager. She asked me to come upstairs to find you, Milord, to get you dressed for dinner."

Robert was quite flabbergasted by the news. Apparently his sweet wife had decided to have dinner downstairs tonight, declaring officially the end of her convalescence. Wasn't it too soon? She still looked weak this morning when he saw her after breakfast...

Robert got dressed very quickly. He didn't want to admit it, but he was curious. Curious and excited. The idea of having Cora back on her feet was quite enticing, but, at the same time he still felt worried for her.

When he joined the drawing room though, all his fears flew away at the sole sight of her eyes. The world stopped. Was it an hour? Was it a second? He couldn't say.

Cora was simply a vision. The sleepy lady wrapped in silk and feathers that he left this morning has turned into an enticing vixen looking at him through dark lushes and smirking at him with her full red lips.

"I think you can close your mouth now, Papa." said Mary, ironically, waking Robert from his reverie.

Cora bit her lip to prevent her laughter and a slight blush crept suddenly up her cheekbones.

After dinner Robert was still agitated. The evening run smoothly, he had missed very much to eat with Cora sitting in front of him. She looked so beautiful tonight that he couldn't stop looking at her, eliciting stern looks of complaints from his Mama. He felt the urge to take her away and to hold her close, but he was still unsure how to approach her after all this time.

"Goodnight everyone" Cora said out of a sudden, lifting herself from the armchair and walking to the door. Robert seemed to see her blinking at him before disappearing behind the door. May he have imagined it? He didn't know, but the mere chance was enough for him to hurry upstairs to her.

He was sure that Bates had noticed his impatience while he undressed him, but he didn't care now. He just wanted to see Cora.

He entered his wife's bedroom tentatively. What if she didn't expect him?

"Cora? Darling, are you awake?" he asked softly

She emerged from the washroom, in her dressing gown, slightly open to reveal her evening undergarments. Robert's eyes widened at the view before him, but felt a slight sense of tension looking at his wife's unreadable expression.

"Cora, sweetheart. Are you sure you're alright?" Robert asked again, giving her a questioning look.

"I am most definitely alright Robert" she answered at least, lowering her eyes, giving in the thumping of her heart in her chest.

Robert stepped further, taking her hand. Cora smiled and he had to force himself to look straight in her eyes and to not roam with his eyes all over her beautiful body.

Tonight is the night. Cora thought, loosing herself in the sweet caress of Robert's hand on her cheek.

"You are going to freeze, love. You better put something on, you know you're still recovering." he said, in a whisper.

Cora's smile dropped and Robert felt a pain inside as he read what was written now on his wife's face: hurt.

Immediately she withdraw her hand from his grasp, letting go a sigh of disappointment.

"You find me quite ridiculous, don't you?" she muttered ironically. Robert opened his mouth in confusion.

"A woman of my age, dressed like this at this hour of the night, trying foolishly to interest her husband. Rather pathetic, isn't it?" added Cora, wrapping her dressing gown tightly around her body and moving away to sit at her vanity.

Robert couldn't take in what he just heard. How could Cora think he found her ridiculous? She was the most beautiful woman in the world. And he loved her, more than ever.

"Cora, darling? What are you talking about?" He asked, kneeling in front of her and caressing her cheeks with both his hands.

"Oh please, go away now. It's already enough depressing like this. You can stop pretending."

"Pretending? Cora, please, talk to me."

"It's over, isn't it? Isn't it, Robert?" Cora asked, bursting into tears.

Robert's eyes narrowed in pain "What's over, love? Are you sure you're not feverish again?" asked him, feeling her forehead with the back of his hand,

"Oh for goodness' sake, Robert! Stop mothering me!I not ill, I am just...brokenhearted!" sighed Cora. "My husband doesn't want me anymore." she exclaimed in defeat. "...and I don't know what to do, now." she added, falling on her knees.

Robert was shocked. When did his strong and marvelous wife become so unsure of herself? He knew it was his fault. It was certainly his fault. But one thing above all was true: he wanted her, he most definitely did.

With a quick move he held Cora's waist with both his palms, moving her closer to him. Cora looked at her husband, with her eyes still blurred by her tears and she didn't have any time to speak before he crushed his lips to her expecting ones.

She tried to move away. She tried at first, pushing with flat hands on his chest, but he was so strong and she felt too weak to fight her desire for him. It has been too long since they were so close, so long since he kissed her like this.

His lips were soft and demanding, determined to show her how much wanted and loved she was, no matter what was behind them.

When they were both out of breath Robert ended the kiss, smiling sweetly at her. He moved his hands at the knot of her silk dressing gown, unfastening it easily and revealing the corset that Cora was still wearing. He let his eyes marvel at how beautiful she was, still and always. He moved his palm to her soft cheek and press his forehead to Cora's, rubbing their noses together.

"How silly can you be, my love. And how extremely, extremely beautiful." Robert said, capturing her lips again in his. The kiss was quick, but passionate. "Of course I want you. I always will."

Cora closed her eyes, willing to break the heaviness she still felt in her chest. "You were so distant, Robert..." she whispered. "So that I thought...I thought that you..." Why her words didn't come out right? She thought, taking his hand and playing with it. Another breath. "That you had found another woman."

Robert's blood froze in his veins at the materialization of Cora's fears. She knew him too well...so well that she could read the guilt in his eyes.

"I know I haven't been an attentive wife lately" she went on, lowering her eyes "And of course I am not as young as I used to be...I would understand if you..."

Robert couldn't hear anymore. "Hush my darling" he said softly, kissing her on her lips and holding her hands. "I won't hear any of this nonsense. You're perfect. The most marvelous wife and the most wonderful woman." he said, making his declaration solemn with another reassuring kiss.

"It's me. I am so underserving of you. The illness you went through made me fear so much for your life that I was paralized. I wanted you to feel safe and protected, but at the same time I knew I wasn't enough to provide you that. I didn't want to be a burden to you, with all the insecurities that the war brought up in me. I felt so unworthy of your strength, of your beauty, of your capacity to adapt."

Cora's hands reached around Robert's neck "How can the man I love be a burden to me?"

Robert sighed, astonished once again by his wife's sweetness "It was probably very idiotic of me. But that's it. Never doubt yourself though. Never ever, my dear" he said, embracing Cora's waist. " I love you so much. So very very much." he whispered, with his nose buried in her neck. "You're the only woman I could ever love and want. My only one." he declared then, before kissing her fiercely. "My only one forever and ever."

"Oh Robert!" she said, hugging him tightly and deepening the kiss. "how I missed you!"

He started kissing her face and neck, worshiping her as she deserved. It was so stupid of him to dream of a different life. He knew from the beginning that any other woman would be just a dull escape compared to his Cora and now he felt extremely ashamed that he had to risk a dalliance to have the final prove of it.

"Come back to me, my dearest darling" He would be better from now on, he would treasure her. "Come back in my arms."

He would love her forever.


End file.
